> i make things. i think about things. i write some of it down.

> i don't think well sitting still.

i forget most of what i read. my students call me a brainy goldfish. what stays isn't the details — it's the structure of how things work. when i need a detail, i re-derive it from the structure. so far that's been enough.

i go too deep when i should be going wide. i know this about myself. i try to compensate. it doesn't always work.

> i tried the institutional path. it didn't fit.

> i tried a job, working under someone else's vision. it didn't last.

i tutor for a living. people told me i should scale it. i still haven't. selling a path to better marks would mean joining the system that didn't fit me in the first place.

i'd rather build something that doesn't already exist than scale something i don't believe in.

> i was a weak kid. people called me a farm chicken.

> i wanted a different story so i started writing one.

i run long distance. two 52k ultras done, a 100k coming this year. i hike mountains in bandarban. tents, jungles, occasionally life-threatening. mountaineering, eventually.

> i pick the longer distance, not the faster one.

> the slow part is the point.

> i'd rather finish broken than win unbroken.

a place to keep the work and the arguments. games i'm building. things i'm writing. trips i'm taking. slow to fill. honest while it does.

> this is one angle. there are others.

> i'm an explorer. that part i'm sure of.